Forsaken
by dark.retreat
Summary: I knew this was going to happen at some stage, but I never thought it would be so soon... [Chapter 5 complete]
1. Memory 1: Painful Past

**Author's notes:** Reviews appeciated.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gundam SEED (obviously).

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**Memory 1: Painful Past**

My surroundings are all hazy, as if enshrouded in a never-ending mist. Beyond the window, I can see the sky, covered in a single grey-white tone due to the stormy weather. It's hard to believe that I won't be seeing him again. But can you blame him after what I did to him? As I turn to see the time on my watch, I struggle to read it with the dim light that emits from the sky. All I can hear is the constant sound of the rain impacting on everything that seems to be outside, accompanied by the low rumble of thunder or lightning every so often. Slowly, I drag myself to my feet, choose the first set of clothes I can find and head outside.

As expected, the streets are empty. Nobody was in sight. Carelessly walking through the puddles, my long coat becomes drenched at the tips. Along the path of my destination, I can see that the shops are still filled with a cheery atmosphere, something that I am without. Every house I pass by is obviously glowing with content and happiness, but I find it hard to believe it anymore.

Finally, I arrive at the house that belonged to the person that left my life. He loved me dearly, but I rejected him. I didn't know why but I always seemed to misunderstand him; still, he continued to love me regardless, even to the point of tears. It was ignorant of me to misinterpret his feelings towards me. Now, I realise he only wanted to express it in a way that we would both understand. He seemed so sad; the pain in his eyes was undeniable, as if he had lost all hopes of his dreams. His smile wasn't warm anymore; instead it had disappeared, lost in the depths of his soul, if it even still existed. It was my fault. I shattered his heart with my ice-cold demeanor. I pushed him away. Even though I understand now, I wonder, am I too late? This house has been empty for so long, it feels like an eternity.

But my heart desires nothing but to bring him back.

Surely, I will see him again, even thought we have shared a painful past. There's still hope for the future…

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**Author's notes:** The characters are not revealed at this point, so you can fill in the unknown characters with whoever you want. Unlikely to be revealed next chapter. 


	2. Memory 2: Chance Encounter

**Author's Notes:** Chapter 2 is up after delay. I shouldn't even be writing fanfics during a time like this. I have too many assignments due too soon...

**Discliamer:** Once again, I don't own Gundam SEED.

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**Memory 2: Chance Encounter**

Deciding that there was nothing left for me to lose, I went to Orb in hope of finding him. Maybe he will understand how I feel now, and maybe he'll forgive me. But life is not that simple. If it was, then I'm sure there would have been no need for the destruction of Junius Seven – the Bloody Valentine, which followed with a war. Wounds are made, but sometimes, they are never healed.

It had been lonely up in the PLANTs. There was no one there to comfort me in person, no one to meet with. Only strangers. All my comrades from the war had left to live in the peaceful country of Orb, enjoying the break from the fighting that was sometimes senseless. It was probably about time I had paid them a visit anyway, now that my duties were out of the way after a few years of work, due to a lack of labor in the PLANTs because of the war. But now the population had grown steady again, and I was able to leave.

As it had been a while, I wasn't used to the idea of seeing my comrades again. Sure, it would be great, but awkward. I would get to see their smiling faces again (hopefully), and maybe we'd spend some time together. But what was really getting at me was him. Did he still remember me? I'm sure he does, but maybe he forced himself out of it because the memory was so painful? I felt a sudden chill crawl down my spine. These questions brought more questions to surface. Had he found some one else? What if he doesn't care anymore? Did anyone else know about this? The more I thought about it, the worse I felt. But it was possible. The truth of this crumbled the last of my questions, as I tried to focus elsewhere. Reality could really be a horrible. Even if it was true, I probably deserved it, after what I had done.

After leaving the spaceport at Orb, I headed towards my old house situated near the river. It hadn't changed much; in fact, it was more beautiful than it used to be. The crystal clear water was reflecting the golden sun's light, glimmering across the surrounding greenery. Breathing in the deep, fresh scent, I headed inside my house. The house was a little dusty, but everything else was fine. After cleaning up the place, I decide to go out for dinner, and grab a few things from the store while I'm out.

Later that night, I caught a glimpse of a familiar figure while buying some ice-cream in a store near the Italian restaurant I had dinner at. Maybe it was just my imagination. I continued browsing through the aisles until I came across what I was looking for: toothpaste. Just when I was about to clasp it in my hand, it bumped into some one else's. I turned my head to apologise to the person it belonged to. When I saw his face, my heart skipped a beat. It was him. Before I could get a closer look to make sure I hadn't mistaken some one else for him, he had already turned away and was trying to get out of the store. There was no doubt about it. It was him. Before I could even attempt to follow him, he was already out of sight. Deciding it was pointless to go looking for him, I went to the cashier, paid for the products and left for home.

Gazing up at the sky from within the bus, I could see the full moon, and its many twinkling stars scattered across space. Space looked so different from down on Earth, although beautiful, none-the-less. There were still a few stops to go until it reached my destination, so I continued to listen to the music streaming from my mp3. As the night went on, I began to doze off to sleep. The trip from PLANT to Earth was quite tiring, and I could feel my shoulders slump from fatigue. Attempting to stay awake until I at least got home, I managed to keep looking out the window, taking in the different houses the bordered the streets. Ten streets away from my home, I noticed a familiar house with lights on. He was still living with his family, just as I had expected. Smiling to myself, I felt my hope come back to me, knowing where he was right now…

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**Author's Notes: **There are hints about who the characters may be, so see if you can pick it up. I'd be interested in who you think they are... I may give spoilers with the right amount of provoking...

Reveiws appreciated. Thanks to those who reviewed Memory 1.


	3. Memory 3: Unexpected Reunion

**Author's Notes:** Thank you to those who read the story. Big thanks to SacredBlade for reviewing and supporting me. I'd like to see who you think the characters are, and please review. New character introduced in this chapter. I updated sooner than I thought... (I decided it was better to post his chapter up and run low on ideas for the moment... I have assignments to finish...)

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Gundam SEED, probably never will.

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**Memory 3: Unexpected Reunion**

Waking up to a bright, sunny morning, I went out on the balcony and inhaled the fresh scent of the morning dew. Today was the day I would make my move. It could determine a number of things, ranging from emotions of great happiness to feelings of detachment. I had waited several days before gathering up the confidence I needed to face him, and also to give myself time to settle in Orb. There wasn't much to do but to see what fate had in store for me.

Taking a stroll down the street, I pondered on the possible scenarios. If he was there, then he might not have forgiven me and run away again, unless his personality had changed, and he decided to hit me. His family might be there too, and it would be better if there was no one around. Although… There might not be anyone home at all, meaning it was a complete waste of time. Assuring myself that things would be alright if I was myself, I knocked lightly on the door. When no one answered, I knocked again, louder this time. I heard the slight shuffling of footsteps, and took a step back, in case the door went the wrong way…

The door opened to reveal my blond comrade from the war. Stunned for words after the time we've been apart for what seems to be years, I can't find anything suitable to say. There was too much silence and tension for such a reunion. Unexpectedly, I felt a fist coming towards me. Too shocked in the moment, I took no reaction, and was hit square in the face.

"You bastard! You did this to him, and you dare show your face at our house!"

"But I haven't done anything!", I protest.

"What do you mean, nothing! He didn't sleep or eat for days! All he could do was cry. He… was too kind to you, took too many chances. He should have done something!"

"It's his own fault for running away! I never said anything to him!"

"Maybe you _said_ nothing, but you did _something_! How else would you explain his behaviour!"

"That's the type of person he is! It's not my damn fault he acts that way!"

"I don't care! You left him feeling depressed, and that's what matters. But you… Don't you show any remorse? You're the cause of his pain!"

"What do you think I'm doing here then!"

"Who knows what you're doing, you could be coming back to kill him for all I know!"

"What the hell is wrong with you!"

"There's nothing wrong with me! You're the one who's wrong, the cause of this problem in the first place!"

"…You're right. It's my fault. I'm sorry. I guess I just never realised why until now…"

"But why! Why would you do this to him? He didn't do anything to you… So why! Answer me!"

"… I… don't know. I don't know why either, okay!"

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I didn't try to resist them, as they were now falling down onto my face. This was not what I had expected. My vision was beginning to blur, but even so, I could see the blonde's eyes wanting to scream at me right now, brimming with tears. What was said needed to come out of our mouths, if not now, at some stage of our lives. There was no point in hiding it; it was too obvious.

"You're not seeing him."

What? I couldn't believe what I had heard just then. It couldn't be true.

"What did you say?" I asked, voice trembling.

"You're not seeing him."

"Why?"

My tears had stopped running now.

"He's experienced enough pain, he doesn't need any more. Besides, he's found some one else."

Right then, it felt as if the world had some to a stop. The phrase ran through my head, over and over again. _Besides, he's found some one else…_ I knew it was possible, but I never thought it was true. My brain wouldn't register it.

"You're lying…"

"I'm not. It's true. He's gotten over you. Now get out of my sight! I don't ever want to see you at my house again!"

And with that, she slammed the door closed…

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**A/N:** I'm looking forward to your reviews... Did the characters stay the same as who you thought they were, or not? 


	4. Memory 4: Once Again

**Author's Notes: **The plot is screwing up... It's gone all weird... o0

**Disclaimer:** This wouldn't be called fanfiction if I owned Gundam SEED...

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**Memory 4: Once Again**

What's happening? It feels like the world has turned its back on me. A few days had passed since the event, and it still clung to me like there was no tomorrow. The words repeated itself over and over again without control…

_Besides, he's found some one else…_

I tried not to let it bother me, but could I really do that when it continuously chorused through my mind? The more I thought about it, the worse the possibilities became. Maybe it was a lie. Although my heart wished with all its might that it was, the agony of the truth still wavered uneasily through my body. Is this what they call fate? Destiny? If so, then I hate the way things have turned out. Often in stories, you hear about how the prince and princess lived happily ever, but that is not reality. Reality _hurts_. There is never some one who can live their whole life with no hurt at all. It must be impossible. I once heard a saying, "It is foolish to wish for eternal happiness. If you have not experienced pain, then you cannot experience true happiness". In a way, this gives me both hope and despair. Interpreted one way, it means that there is no such thing as eternal happiness, and you will always be hurt in life. On the other hand, it may mean that pain must be inflicted first before you can have your share of joy. So which one is in store for me? There is a longing desire inside of me that _needs_ to know, but everything else says otherwise. Wouldn't it be more painful if I knew my fate and had to accept it?

Taking the advice some one had told me when I was younger, I decided to confide my problems in a friend. The only problem was I didn't know where, or who were my friends anymore. It was likely that the incident with him, and probably of my return, had gotten around to my past comrades and allies. I don't care what they think, but right now I'm desperate for some one to listen to me.

Walking around through the streets of the city, Orb hasn't changed much. Sure, there are a few new buildings and attractions, but the atmosphere of the place wasn't any different. Suddenly feeling a little hungry, I saw an ice-cream stand nearby, and went over to buy one. Peering through the glass at all the flavours, I settled on chocolate chip. Just as I was walking away from the stand, some one bumped into me, with the result of the ice-cream being shoved into him or her.

"Oh! I'm sorry. Here, let me help you…" I started.

"Nah, it's ok. Just a little mess," he replied, while helping him get up.

"Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks."

"Sorry. How can I make it up to you?"

"Hey… are you…?"

"Huh? Hey, it's you! No time no see!"

"Yeah. Hey, tell you what. You can make it up to me by inviting me to lunch. And we can have a little chat while we're at it."

"Sure, sounds good to me."

It finally feels like luck is on my side for once. I'm glad bumped I into him, even if I did spill ice-cream all over his shirt. Settling on a café, we went inside and ordered some food.

"So how's it been?" I ask.

"I dunno. Pretty good, I guess. It's a nice change from the war. I'm getting some decent sleep now," he laughs.

"You're as carefree as ever, I see. Nothing's changed much, has it? Except for the fact that you've grown taller. Not that you need to anyway, seeing as you've always been the tallest."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. You're just jealous 'cause you'll never be as tall as me."

"Whatever. You're still as immature as ever."

"Haha. Life's dull without a few laughs, you know."

"…"

"So… how have things been with you and him, huh?"

"Well, I…"

"C'mon, 'fess up."

"I haven't seen him ever since."

"…You're kidding right?"

"No."

"…"

"She… she wouldn't let me see him."

"Who cares what she says? You have the right to see him. You shouldn't just give up!"

"But does it really matter anymore? She said… she said he's found somebody else…"

"What!"

"You heard me. He's found some one else. Tell me it's not true…"

"… I'm sorry, but I haven't heard anything about it. As far as I know, you two were always together. I haven't seen him either, you know."

"Yeah, but…"

"What happened?"

"You mean what she told me?"

"Yeah."

"She told me… that it was all my fault… and that he had found some one else, gotten over me. She told me to never show my face at her house again, and wouldn't let me see him."

"… I see… You probably know by now, but I'll say it anyway. She's over-protective. I'm not sure that she's lying though. She isn't really the type of person that does. But what happened between you two? Did you guys break up or something?"

"… Sort of, I guess. But we weren't really together in the first place, so not really. I… I didn't know he loved me that way, or that much. It… just happened. I don't know when it started, but I don't think it's ended yet, either..."

"Hmm… Well, forgive me for saying this, but you must have been really stupid."

"What makes you say that?"

"I dunno… but it seems like you're holding something back from me…"

"…"

"Ok, I understand you may not want to talk about it, but something's going to happen sooner or later. It's just matter of when it will: sooner, or later."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. I'm leaving."

And without another word, I left. He made no attempt to stop me. I would have thought talking to some one would have made a difference. It didn't. The only thing that changed was that he now knew what had happened. Knowing him, he would end up telling some one else, then the rumours would start flying around. After that, people would start forming their own opinions. Not everyone is like a sheep following the shepherd. It would be up to them who I was with, and who I was against.

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**A/N: **I think some of the character's are becoming obvious now. Should I reveal them?Tell me your suggestionsthrough your reviews, and tell me who you think they are so I know how obvious it was... thanks. 


	5. Memory 5: Concealed Conversations

**Disclaimer:** "br"I do "b"NOT "/b" own "i"Gundam SEED "/i". "br"

**a/n:** I'm starting to feel that this is a really... crappy story. I can't seem to relate anything to it anymore... It's not working how it should be... I hope it isn't too horrible. But it's posted, so yeah... Needed to be updated, and it was about half done already, so might as well...

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**Memory 5: Concealed Coversations**

What am I doing? I'm such an idiot. Why did I bother to come back? I knew this was going to happen at some stage, but I never thought it would be so soon. Would I have been better off not knowing about it in the first place? Now I'm being ignorant. If I didn't want to come back for him in the first place, surely I wouldn't be here.

But I am here. If I'm going to risk getting hurt, I might as well take my chances and see what he thinks of me now.

So here I am, at the doorsteps of their home. The blonde opens the door once again…

"What are you doing here! I thought I told you to get lost!"

"I'm here to see him," I reply calmly, even though I could feel my fingers flexing uncontrollably.

"To see who?"

"You know who I'm talking about."

"Has your brain short circuited or something! He's already found some one else, and no, you're not seeing him!"

"I don't care what you say. I'm coming in!"

"What's going on?" A faint voice from inside the house. It sounded like him. I'm sure it is.

"It's none of your business, get back inside," the blonde replied hastily.

"You can't hide him from me forever, you know," I added.

"Wanna bet? I'll do whatever it takes for you not to see him again. And for the last time, he's got some one else!"

She slammed the door in my face, once again. Just like last time.

Sighing, I stepped around to the other side of their house, under the windowsill. If I couldn't talk to him directly, I would just have to eavesdrop on their conversation. This way, I may actually find something out.

"Why won't you tell me who it was?"

"I don't have to if I don't want to, Kira."

Kira. He was there, and I was right.

"But why not, Cagalli? Why? Is it because it's your boyfriend…?"

"No way in hell. Kira, I'm serious. I'm not telling."

"Please, Cagalli? I won't tell anyone."

"I'm sorry Kira, but the person I can't tell is you."

"What? How come? I'm your brother! P.l.e.a.s.e…?

"… Oh alright. Fine. But you might be shocked. It's …"

There was a knock on the door. Damn… and I could've found out what he thought of me…

"Cagalli? Kira? You there? And don't even think about hiding from me. It's not gonna work."

"Hey, we keep telling you, but you don't ever listen, do you?" yelled Cagalli.

"Just come in! We're close friends, so you don't have to knock every time," replied Kira.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Looks like you two are as lively as ever."

I wasn't sure who this person was, but the voice sounded familiar. I continued to listen on, hoping I would discover the truth about something.

"Oh, come on. It's not like we're gloomy all the time or anything."

"Yeah, she's right, for once, anyway."

"Funnily enough."

"I'm not deaf, you know!"

"Sure, sure."

"Anyway, do you guys wanna go see a movie?"

"Sorry, I'm busy. Got stuff to do."

"I'll go. Who's coming?"

"Just a buncha people. We're going to see The Matrix."

"Why the Matrix? It sounds sorta cool, but I bet it's boring…"

"No way, Cagalli! Neo's heaps cool! Especially when they remade it (because the old graphics looked extremely… cheap and crappy compared to what they have now) and they used that new guy, whose real name is Neo too."

"So are you coming, Kira?"

"Yeah, sure!" replied Kira almost automatically.

"What floats your boat."

"Then what are you waiting for? Hurry up and let's go."

"Ok, ok… hold your horses…"

Kira must have gone upstairs, because I heard a series of footsteps, and he was no longer conversing with the others who had moved on to another subject.

"So Cagalli… I didn't want to bring this up while Kira was around, but is it true that… you know, 'that guy' is back in Orb?"

"Yeah, unfortunately. The bastard was here just a few minutes ago. Why do you ask?"

"The fool said he bumped into him yesterday during lunch."

"When you say 'fool' I presume you mean—"

"Of course! Who else could it be?"

"I get the point, alright? Just wanted to check. What else did your 'fool' say?"

"He said he got a free lunch."

"Oh?"

"Meaning he somehow bribed the bastard to pay for him."

"Who's this we're talking about?" Kira asked all of a sudden.

"Uh… no one in particular."

"How long have you been there?"

"Just now. Why? You weren't talking about me, were you?"

"Of course not, why should I? You're too boring to talk about anyway. Jokes, jokes…"

"So are you coming to the movies or not? Let's go already!"

"Yeah, yeah."

There was really no point to me staying hidden under their windowsill anymore, as they were going out anyway, so I quietly made my way out when I was sure there was nobody in sight. Right now, my past friends don't sound to welcoming anymore. I'm thinking that this wasn't such a great idea after all. Should I return back up to PLANT? No, I don't think so. Since I've got nothing to do, maybe I'll go see the remake of The Matrix too. But the reason I'm going is not to watch the movie. It's to watch Kira.

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**a/n:** No... I don't feel like writing this anymore. I'm not joking, I'm serious. I've lost interest in the plot line. But I WILL finish it eventually... Updates won't be frequent... and if you think it is as bad as I think it is, then sorry... 


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